Alright. I need to make this brief. I have to write a paper about thiol production in skunks (thiols by the way are the compounds that gives the skunk its smelly reputation). Isn't organic chemistry wonderful? No.. no it isn't. It's the reason why I haven't posted in a while.
I'll be starting my round 2 again sometime this week, just depending on my free time. I don't want to make the same mistake I did last time. Since I took a 3 week break I figure I might as well load. But I'm not sure. I would like some input if anyone is willing.
And now to reply to some comments from me last entries:
maryg911: Thanks. The thermos idea just hit me one day. And it actually keeps the vial at a cooler temperature than my fridge.
cb9094: Thanks for those words of encouragement. I think what you said is true. I believe the struggle will help me pull it off quite successfully. And also, meeting my best friends in a month and a half or so after 2 years of her being in the navy is becoming quite the motivation.
Becca: "...You deserve to be a thin and healthy person and you CAN be..." Thanks for saying that. That just brightened my day, or evening to be precise. Something so simple, yet has a lot of impact in its words. And omg the Body Worlds Exhibit. I saw it in Houston. It was awesome. I just love stuff like that ('course then again I'm a biology major). And I also saw the splices of the the obese man vs. a normal man. It's the type of visual apparatus that just makes you "aware" of yourself. I shall thank Gunther Von Haagan if I see him.
B's Journey : Thanks B. I'm glad someone there can relate to my words. I didn't by the Bare Minerals brand, as I'm not one to spend $65 dollars on makeup! I'm a low maintanence kind of chick. Always will be. But I do like the occasional foundation and I've grown to love these mineral makeups. The brand I bought is Joelle. It's not bad at all. And much cheaper than BM.
applebottomblues : I'm glad someone's glad I posted the ups AND downs. I really didn't want to post it, but I thought it was important for people to see that I'm not a perfect being. I want people to see that even though I screwed up, I'm still going to try again, and this time succeed.
Lili : I hear you on that. Might I recommend the Discovery Health Channel? Also the library has programs of the specials on TV.
BizAdventure : I'm coming, I'm coming! Thanks for checking up on me. It helps me stay on track that there are people watching me behind my back ... as creepy as that sounds. =P
AllToLove : Welcome Sharon! Yes, this is definitely an adventure worth doing. You can't lose, except pounds. lol. And I thank you for the detailed post, I enjoyed reading it.
Okay, so I've run out of time, which means I'll be doing my blog rounds tomorrow. 'Can't wait to see how my hcg partners in crime are doing!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Back to the Drawing Board
I bet you might have been wondering where I ran off to. Well, for starters, I decided it was in my best interest to take a break from the protocol. It was the perfect time since this was my spring break. I realized the second time around I jumped into this without the mental preparation I needed. The first time, this was all new to me. I read, and researched, and exhausted all my pro's and con's. It was foolish for me to think I did not need think things through next round. So yeah, I learned the hard way.
But while on my break I sort of did some inspiration searching. I need reaffirmations as to why I started this whole journey in the first place.
On my spring break I watched a lot of discovery health channel. There was a show about the science of obesity. Rather visually informative. there was a clip where a woman was walking and they showed her computer graphic copy walking along beside her, only showing the extra amount of fat she was carrying. That was real interesting to see visually just the amount of fat the obese carry around with them. And then I got to thinking. Sometimes people would say, "I'm basically two people put together". I said it myself. My two best friends who happen to weigh like 105 each, together are basically one of me, in terms of weight. That's a perception I don't care too much for, but it works for motivation purposes. But also, here's another perception we often overlook. If I were really two of my skinny friends put together, I would look pretty good at 210, because technically, I'd still be within my body fat percentage. Women are supposed to have 20% on average of body fat, up to 22% I believe. So, if a woman weighed 140 lbs., roughly 3o lbs. should consist of fat. Well, if that same woman was obese, say 260, and carried an exta 12o lbs., not only is she the weight of two people combined, she is carrying enough fat/energy for 4 people! Now that's more alarming.
I also found pictures of me when I was somewhere between 6 and 10. I was very athletic then. I looked at those pictures for a long time to. I realized that I wasn't always "the fat kid". It made me realize that I simply over ate and somehere down the line my hormones, hypothalamus, endocrine system got out of whack as a result. I understand that genes play a role, but only a small factor. Although my dad and grandparents are overweight, they were all skinny in there youth, up and past there 20's. So I know enviornment played the bigger role. I know how messed up our health is in America, but I am tired of playing the victim. I may be bummed out that I missed some crucial parts of my teen years, but I'll be damned if I let my weight define who I am, where I go, what I do, what I wear, how I approach people, how I look at myself, and so on, from this point on. Hcg has given me the tools I need to take back that part of my life again.
I also bought some makeup for myself. Okay, so that may not have anything to do with the whole hcg thing, but it was more of a confidence booster. I bought some of that mineral makeup (hcg approved), and honestly, it's the most awesome makeup in the world. It took a while to apply it right, as I was trying to do it like those people on bare minerals, and they make it seem like it takes 3 seconds to apply but once I got the hang of it, my face really did look flawless like on tv.
Oh and one more thing. I want to thank ALL of you who have been commenting on my journal this past week and a half. Those were some of the most encouraging comments I've had in a long time. It seems like no matter how much I mess up there's always someone who there for support. Sometimes I brace myself for negative criticism after I type up a journal entry, but to my surprise it never comes. This is not to say that there are no constructive comments, it just means that I'm always given advice in a supportive manner, and that's why you guys are awesome!
But while on my break I sort of did some inspiration searching. I need reaffirmations as to why I started this whole journey in the first place.
On my spring break I watched a lot of discovery health channel. There was a show about the science of obesity. Rather visually informative. there was a clip where a woman was walking and they showed her computer graphic copy walking along beside her, only showing the extra amount of fat she was carrying. That was real interesting to see visually just the amount of fat the obese carry around with them. And then I got to thinking. Sometimes people would say, "I'm basically two people put together". I said it myself. My two best friends who happen to weigh like 105 each, together are basically one of me, in terms of weight. That's a perception I don't care too much for, but it works for motivation purposes. But also, here's another perception we often overlook. If I were really two of my skinny friends put together, I would look pretty good at 210, because technically, I'd still be within my body fat percentage. Women are supposed to have 20% on average of body fat, up to 22% I believe. So, if a woman weighed 140 lbs., roughly 3o lbs. should consist of fat. Well, if that same woman was obese, say 260, and carried an exta 12o lbs., not only is she the weight of two people combined, she is carrying enough fat/energy for 4 people! Now that's more alarming.
I also found pictures of me when I was somewhere between 6 and 10. I was very athletic then. I looked at those pictures for a long time to. I realized that I wasn't always "the fat kid". It made me realize that I simply over ate and somehere down the line my hormones, hypothalamus, endocrine system got out of whack as a result. I understand that genes play a role, but only a small factor. Although my dad and grandparents are overweight, they were all skinny in there youth, up and past there 20's. So I know enviornment played the bigger role. I know how messed up our health is in America, but I am tired of playing the victim. I may be bummed out that I missed some crucial parts of my teen years, but I'll be damned if I let my weight define who I am, where I go, what I do, what I wear, how I approach people, how I look at myself, and so on, from this point on. Hcg has given me the tools I need to take back that part of my life again.
I also bought some makeup for myself. Okay, so that may not have anything to do with the whole hcg thing, but it was more of a confidence booster. I bought some of that mineral makeup (hcg approved), and honestly, it's the most awesome makeup in the world. It took a while to apply it right, as I was trying to do it like those people on bare minerals, and they make it seem like it takes 3 seconds to apply but once I got the hang of it, my face really did look flawless like on tv.
Oh and one more thing. I want to thank ALL of you who have been commenting on my journal this past week and a half. Those were some of the most encouraging comments I've had in a long time. It seems like no matter how much I mess up there's always someone who there for support. Sometimes I brace myself for negative criticism after I type up a journal entry, but to my surprise it never comes. This is not to say that there are no constructive comments, it just means that I'm always given advice in a supportive manner, and that's why you guys are awesome!
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
R2 Day 19-26
Day 19 - 209
Day 20 - 209.5
Day 21 - 209
Day 22 - 210
Day 23 - 208
Day 24 - 207.5
Day 25 - 207
Day 26 - 206.5
Blah! Why do I feel like a failure?! I thought I would so be out of the 200's by the end of Febuary. Now I'm not so sure that's going to happen. I don't know why I'm having such a hard time with this round compared to the last. I know in the beginning it was all a breeze, and I struggled a little towards the end. But at the start of this time, man. I'm more hungry this time around than before, and I don't know what's up. Should I go buy a pregnancy test? Possibly. Honestly it is my fault because I've been sort of playing the Phase 3 game during P2, and that's not good at all. But I can't help it I'm just more hungry this time around, and I didn't have to deal with that before so it wasn't an issue. Argh! I just realized when I said that out loud I sounded like a pirate.
Day 20 - 209.5
Day 21 - 209
Day 22 - 210
Day 23 - 208
Day 24 - 207.5
Day 25 - 207
Day 26 - 206.5
Blah! Why do I feel like a failure?! I thought I would so be out of the 200's by the end of Febuary. Now I'm not so sure that's going to happen. I don't know why I'm having such a hard time with this round compared to the last. I know in the beginning it was all a breeze, and I struggled a little towards the end. But at the start of this time, man. I'm more hungry this time around than before, and I don't know what's up. Should I go buy a pregnancy test? Possibly. Honestly it is my fault because I've been sort of playing the Phase 3 game during P2, and that's not good at all. But I can't help it I'm just more hungry this time around, and I didn't have to deal with that before so it wasn't an issue. Argh! I just realized when I said that out loud I sounded like a pirate.
Friday, February 22, 2008
A Now A Word From Our Sponsers...
This was sent to me in my email from dd.ca
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We are looking to sponsor up to 25 individuals to complete the HCG Diet from start to finish - all without costing them a dime. DrugDelivery.ca and it's partners will cover 100% of all your HCG costs including the kits, HCG, and free advice/consultations/assistance from the HCG Diet expert and author - Cindy Cook.
All we ask in return is for you to document your progress from start to finish in the form of a blog that will be promoted and displayed on our website. We supply everything you need, you complete your weight loss goals, and the world will benefit by learning just how easy it can be.
To apply, simply fill out the form on our application page here:
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If you are chosen, you will be contacted within the next 2 weeks and given further details on how to start. Good luck!
Would you like to start the HCG Diet but maybe it is too costly for you?
Maybe you don't know where or how to begin?
Or, who to trust with your money?
If the answer to any of those questions was "yes" then you are a perfect candidate for the new DrugDelivery.ca HCG Challenge!
We are looking to sponsor up to 25 individuals to complete the HCG Diet from start to finish - all without costing them a dime. DrugDelivery.ca and it's partners will cover 100% of all your HCG costs including the kits, HCG, and free advice/consultations/assistance from the HCG Diet expert and author - Cindy Cook.
All we ask in return is for you to document your progress from start to finish in the form of a blog that will be promoted and displayed on our website. We supply everything you need, you complete your weight loss goals, and the world will benefit by learning just how easy it can be.
To apply, simply fill out the form on our application page here:
http://www.drugdelivery.ca/hcg-challenge.aspx
If you are chosen, you will be contacted within the next 2 weeks and given further details on how to start. Good luck!
Monday, February 18, 2008
R2 Day 14-18
Day 14 - 205
Day 15 - 204.5
Day 16 - 210
Day 17 - 209.5
Day 18 - 209
Hmmmm..... yes... I know what you're thinking. What the hell happened on day 16?!?! Okay... let me explain. Three things: Chinese food, birthday cake, new scale.
Chinese food: My kryptonite. I was trying to "blend in" at the dinner table.
Birthday cake: Brother turned 6. Couldn't help it.. okay, more like, didn't help it.
Scale: Brand new.
So, yeah. All those factored in. I always weigh more on the "more accurate" scales. I really didn't eat that much cake, maybe a few big bites. But the chinese food was what got me. Bleh. All in one day. I have no way of really knowing which one attributed more to the weight gain, or how big of a discrepency my new scale is from the old one, since I broke the old one (dropped it on the corner - it split apart).
Sooo.. I broke out with the tape measure to make sure I wasn't gaining inches. And to my surprise I lost an inch in the stomach and and 1/2in in the chest and an inch in the thighs. So, all is well. Of course, that doesn't really make sense to me, but then again, who really know what is going on under the skin, except for Dr. Simeons. But damn, it sure would be nice to finally see that number go under 200 by next week. Sure would.
In the meantime, I'm finally getting in my water. Just had to fit it in my schedule. I have a liter with me during the day that I try and finish, and when I get home around 3 I drink another liter before I go to bed. Depending on the day I can get an extra .5-1 liter in.
I was trying to experiment with weekly updates. I find that I can get a bigger picture of things when I do it this way, and it's a little less stressful. But when I did daily updates, I scrutinized myself more, which places me under a tad bit more stress. Perhaps I'll do both, do daily updates, then weekly updates on my skip day.
Day 15 - 204.5
Day 16 - 210
Day 17 - 209.5
Day 18 - 209
Hmmmm..... yes... I know what you're thinking. What the hell happened on day 16?!?! Okay... let me explain. Three things: Chinese food, birthday cake, new scale.
Chinese food: My kryptonite. I was trying to "blend in" at the dinner table.
Birthday cake: Brother turned 6. Couldn't help it.. okay, more like, didn't help it.
Scale: Brand new.
So, yeah. All those factored in. I always weigh more on the "more accurate" scales. I really didn't eat that much cake, maybe a few big bites. But the chinese food was what got me. Bleh. All in one day. I have no way of really knowing which one attributed more to the weight gain, or how big of a discrepency my new scale is from the old one, since I broke the old one (dropped it on the corner - it split apart).
Sooo.. I broke out with the tape measure to make sure I wasn't gaining inches. And to my surprise I lost an inch in the stomach and and 1/2in in the chest and an inch in the thighs. So, all is well. Of course, that doesn't really make sense to me, but then again, who really know what is going on under the skin, except for Dr. Simeons. But damn, it sure would be nice to finally see that number go under 200 by next week. Sure would.
In the meantime, I'm finally getting in my water. Just had to fit it in my schedule. I have a liter with me during the day that I try and finish, and when I get home around 3 I drink another liter before I go to bed. Depending on the day I can get an extra .5-1 liter in.
I was trying to experiment with weekly updates. I find that I can get a bigger picture of things when I do it this way, and it's a little less stressful. But when I did daily updates, I scrutinized myself more, which places me under a tad bit more stress. Perhaps I'll do both, do daily updates, then weekly updates on my skip day.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
R2 Day 9-13
Day 9 - 208
Day 10 -207.5
Day 11 -206.5
Day 12 - 206
Day 13 -205.5
Welcome to the round of cockiness! That's exactly what it is. I completely stopped weighing my vegetables. I can look at my moms plate of chicken and go, "Hmm, 210 grams, give or take 8." Is that sad or what! I do weigh the meat though, when I'm cooking that is.
And something must've happened in the last 50 years or so because I am making all kinds of variations and I'm still losing weight. I'm still trying to work the kinks out, but I'm having all sorts of bold fun. For example. I ditched the melba toast for Wasa brand crisp in light cracker. Has the same if not less amount of calories than melba, taste better, and is bigger. I started experimenting with mixing veggies, but I had to be careful with that as some veggie combos were better for weightloss than others.
Now I know judging from last round I did better for the 1st part than the last, and that's something I'm going to have to consider down the line.
Oh and by the way, an herbal omelet with tomatoes and scallions is just downright delicious with tobasco sauce.
Day 10 -207.5
Day 11 -206.5
Day 12 - 206
Day 13 -205.5
Welcome to the round of cockiness! That's exactly what it is. I completely stopped weighing my vegetables. I can look at my moms plate of chicken and go, "Hmm, 210 grams, give or take 8." Is that sad or what! I do weigh the meat though, when I'm cooking that is.
And something must've happened in the last 50 years or so because I am making all kinds of variations and I'm still losing weight. I'm still trying to work the kinks out, but I'm having all sorts of bold fun. For example. I ditched the melba toast for Wasa brand crisp in light cracker. Has the same if not less amount of calories than melba, taste better, and is bigger. I started experimenting with mixing veggies, but I had to be careful with that as some veggie combos were better for weightloss than others.
Now I know judging from last round I did better for the 1st part than the last, and that's something I'm going to have to consider down the line.
Oh and by the way, an herbal omelet with tomatoes and scallions is just downright delicious with tobasco sauce.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
R2 Day 6-8
Day 6 - 210.5
Day 7 - 209.5
Day 8 - 209
Hcg jumps out of the fridge in search of BB, but she is nowhere to be found. Then on a hunch, he makes a dash to the living room, bacwater shaking in his amber glass, hoping his suspicions are dead wrong.
But as Hcg turns to face the couch his fears are confirmed. He gasps in shock to find BB... hunched over a box of cookies.
Hcg: I knew it! You're cheating on me! I caught you red-handed!! How could you BB! How could you?!!!
BB was momentarily taken aback, as the expression on her face resembled a deer in headlights. She quickly regained her composure.
BB:Hcg! (wipes the crumbs from her mouth)It's not what it looks like -
Hcg: Oh really? Because I think it's EXACTLY what it looks like!
Hcg snatches the box away from BB and chunks it in the trashbin. He did this with such ferocity a few cookies fell onto the ground next to the bin.
Hcg: After all I've done for you! I thought we had a great first round! I gave you all that you wanted, and then some. I forgave you once because it was thanksgiving, and I didn't want to make a seen in front of your family. But this... no. If this is how it's.... BB!!
BB was eye-ing the cookies that didn't make it in the trash the whole time. She suddenly snapped out of her daze at the sound of her name.
BB:Huh? What? Oh. Well I couldn't help it! C'mon Hcg, give me a break! It's girlscout season! They get you at Walmart I tell you ... and they ambush you at BOTH entrances! I tried to get away, but they attacked me with, with (BB looked as though she was about to break down) Carmel Delights! (Begins to sob) Damn you Samoans!
Hcg was unmoved.
BB:Look, I know I can change, just give me another chance! I can do this! You're my only hope. Atkins was a dick. He gave me false hopes. But you've been true to your word from the very first day. I won't let you down again!
Hcg rolls his eyes and lets out a long sigh.
Hcg:Well, I guess if it wasn't for you I'd still be in Europe getting pissed off by some raging hormonal pregnant lady. Tell you what, if you can prove your worthiness to me for the next month and a half or so, I'll take you to P3 again. And then after that, we can go to P4. I hear they have a nice buffet.
BB: (Her face lights up) Really?? Oh Hcg, I don't know what to say.
Hcg: Well, I'm still a little upset about the cookies. But I guess I've been kind of a prick in the butt lately..
BB: and arms.
Hcg: Yeah, I guess so.
BB: and thighs.
Hcg:Uh, yeah
BB:and
Hcg:Look are you gonna prove to me you can commit to this relationship or not!
BB:Yes!
Hcg:Good. Now that we've gotten that out of the way, I think I'll go back into the fridge. It's a little warm out here.
Hcg turns around and heads back into the kitchen. As he opens the door he remembered something he wanted to tell BB. He walks back to the living room.
Hcg:By the way, we're out of grissini so when your at the store why don't you--- BB!!!
BB was kneeling by the trash, on the verge of stuffing a cookie in her mouth, until she looked up and locked eyes with Hcg, still holding the cookie inches away from her mouth. A few seconds of uncomfortable silence passes, and BB looks over Hcg's shoulder and points.
BB:Is that Customs walking to the door?!
Hcg:(Turns around in a moment of panic but quickly turns back as he feels something rush beside him...)
BB is nowhere to be found. The cookies from the trash are mysteriously missing.
Hcg: DAMNIT!
So... lol, yeah. That's what I've been going through these past few days. Needless to say, I haven't been the best Phase two-fer in these past 72 hours. I'm starting to wonder whether I went into round 2 P2 a little prematurely. I was under the notion this would be a walk in the park after the 1st round. It could be that it's just the first week, although I didn't experience all that much hunger in round 1. Been wondering if I should start over with heftier loading days. Or maybe not. I guess experience differs from person to person.
Day 7 - 209.5
Day 8 - 209
Hcg jumps out of the fridge in search of BB, but she is nowhere to be found. Then on a hunch, he makes a dash to the living room, bacwater shaking in his amber glass, hoping his suspicions are dead wrong.
But as Hcg turns to face the couch his fears are confirmed. He gasps in shock to find BB... hunched over a box of cookies.
Hcg: I knew it! You're cheating on me! I caught you red-handed!! How could you BB! How could you?!!!
BB was momentarily taken aback, as the expression on her face resembled a deer in headlights. She quickly regained her composure.
BB:Hcg! (wipes the crumbs from her mouth)It's not what it looks like -
Hcg: Oh really? Because I think it's EXACTLY what it looks like!
Hcg snatches the box away from BB and chunks it in the trashbin. He did this with such ferocity a few cookies fell onto the ground next to the bin.
Hcg: After all I've done for you! I thought we had a great first round! I gave you all that you wanted, and then some. I forgave you once because it was thanksgiving, and I didn't want to make a seen in front of your family. But this... no. If this is how it's.... BB!!
BB was eye-ing the cookies that didn't make it in the trash the whole time. She suddenly snapped out of her daze at the sound of her name.
BB:Huh? What? Oh. Well I couldn't help it! C'mon Hcg, give me a break! It's girlscout season! They get you at Walmart I tell you ... and they ambush you at BOTH entrances! I tried to get away, but they attacked me with, with (BB looked as though she was about to break down) Carmel Delights! (Begins to sob) Damn you Samoans!
Hcg was unmoved.
BB:Look, I know I can change, just give me another chance! I can do this! You're my only hope. Atkins was a dick. He gave me false hopes. But you've been true to your word from the very first day. I won't let you down again!
Hcg rolls his eyes and lets out a long sigh.
Hcg:Well, I guess if it wasn't for you I'd still be in Europe getting pissed off by some raging hormonal pregnant lady. Tell you what, if you can prove your worthiness to me for the next month and a half or so, I'll take you to P3 again. And then after that, we can go to P4. I hear they have a nice buffet.
BB: (Her face lights up) Really?? Oh Hcg, I don't know what to say.
Hcg: Well, I'm still a little upset about the cookies. But I guess I've been kind of a prick in the butt lately..
BB: and arms.
Hcg: Yeah, I guess so.
BB: and thighs.
Hcg:Uh, yeah
BB:and
Hcg:Look are you gonna prove to me you can commit to this relationship or not!
BB:Yes!
Hcg:Good. Now that we've gotten that out of the way, I think I'll go back into the fridge. It's a little warm out here.
Hcg turns around and heads back into the kitchen. As he opens the door he remembered something he wanted to tell BB. He walks back to the living room.
Hcg:By the way, we're out of grissini so when your at the store why don't you--- BB!!!
BB was kneeling by the trash, on the verge of stuffing a cookie in her mouth, until she looked up and locked eyes with Hcg, still holding the cookie inches away from her mouth. A few seconds of uncomfortable silence passes, and BB looks over Hcg's shoulder and points.
BB:Is that Customs walking to the door?!
Hcg:(Turns around in a moment of panic but quickly turns back as he feels something rush beside him...)
BB is nowhere to be found. The cookies from the trash are mysteriously missing.
Hcg: DAMNIT!
So... lol, yeah. That's what I've been going through these past few days. Needless to say, I haven't been the best Phase two-fer in these past 72 hours. I'm starting to wonder whether I went into round 2 P2 a little prematurely. I was under the notion this would be a walk in the park after the 1st round. It could be that it's just the first week, although I didn't experience all that much hunger in round 1. Been wondering if I should start over with heftier loading days. Or maybe not. I guess experience differs from person to person.
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