Day 36

Yesterday - 204.5
Today - 204

-.5lbs.

Any loss is still a loss so I'll take it. For some reason I just feel down today. Maybe it's the fact that finals are right around the corner and I have yet to study "assertively". I was really hoping for all A's this semester but I might just end up with B's, and maybe one A depending on how well I do on the final. I also noticed that I am starting to get a bit hungrier these days, and the only thing that curbs my appetite is water. And I know we're supposed to be drinking water, but I never really -needed- it to keep my hunger at bay. At first I thought my hcg was losing it's potency but I'm still losing apparently. I wonder if I could be building up an immunity to it. That would suck.

During the day today I was hungry but because I was busy working I wasn't phased by it. I wonder if my hungry is due to not eating anything throughout the morning and afternoon. Sometimes I find myself eating my first meal after 4 or 6. Before, I would have an apple in the morning, my first meal around 3 (when I come home from school), and my second meal sometime after 5 or 6. Depending on how hungry I am I would eat my second alotted fruit. I swear something happened to me after thankgsiving. I guess I sorta got lazy and when I plateaued I sort of lost my thunder afterwards. I was losing so so well in the beginning. Didn't help that we had guests come about either.

These are things I definetely want to consider on my next round. Next round there isn't a holiday in sight, unless you count Valentine's Day but I haven't a hubby or BF so no one to suprise me with saturated chocolately fats there.

(warning: the next paragraph has some graphic details about -womanly- issues. You have been warned!)

Something else also happened today. I should probably note first that my periods stopped in 2001. Since then I haven't had a -proper- period. And I know this isn't the best course of action, but I've been too scared to go to a doctor. I'm one of those people who just rather not know. Since that time I've had a brown disharge here and there. I've inquired about these and one doctor I asked said this is normal as it is just old blood being pushed out. And from my researched I've come to the conclusion that it was because of my weight, possibly PCOS and insulin resistance maybe, that has haulted my periods. This morning I had a brown mucousy discharge that was moreso than usual. And this evening I went to change my panty liner and I noticed there was a little blood there. It looked like the start of a period. I even saw blood clots. So I'm wondering if my periods are returning now. I don't know if I should be excited or not, because I don't know if this counts as Aunt Flo coming to town. More like stopping by cause she forgot her keys, then sneezed or something before walking out the door. I've never in my life had regular periods. I would get maybe 4-6 a year and they would be -very- heavy and last for weeks. I was actually relieved to see them stop but now I'm thinking maybe I'll want kids someday, whereas before that idea wasn't on my things-to-do-before-I-die list. I've never had cramps or pains ever....

I think I'm just ranting now about my dysfunctionalness. I really need to get back to study. But yeah, so much for the supposed hiatus of the blogs, lol.